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New Stars on TV. Who Is Tawny Cypress?

November 03, 2006

A month or so in to the new TV season and folks are already picking winners and losers. Ray Liotta and Virginia Madsen aren't TV stars, but Tawny Cypress and America Ferrera are. Ordinary people with extraordinary powers are interesting. Hostage dramas? Boring! Stephen McPherson's big gamble paid off, Aaron Sorkin's hasn't and we're still looking for laughs.

''The shows that the networks were highest on creatively were not the shows that people flocked to,'' said Jeff Bader, head of scheduling at ABC.

Oh, surprise, surprise: the execs don’t know their own audience.

Witness NBC on Monday nights: Creator Sorkin's much-anticipated return to TV, ''Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip,'' studded with stars like Matthew Perry, Bradley Whitford and Amanda Peet, is struggling to hang on. ''Heroes,'' littered with unknowns like Cypress, is a hit. The last time they ran back-to-back, the ''Heroes'' audience was nearly twice as big.

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SNL star Maya Rudolph Has Bedbugs

Just to prove that not all publicity is good publicity – unless she turns bedbugs into a skit on “Saturday Night Live” – the whole world knows that Ms. Rudolph has an infestation of bedbugs is embarrassing.

A $450,000 lawsuit says that immediately after Rudolph, movie director Paul Anderson and their baby moved into the third-floor condominium loft apartment they were renting in SoHo last month, something began chewing on them at night.

''The plaintiffs were bitten over portions of their bodies by bedbugs,'' the court papers say. ''Apparently unbeknown to plaintiffs, the premises were infested with bedbugs.''

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Dancing Stars, Battling Biceps

November 02, 2006

The ladies are O.U.T. Monique Coleman, the last woman standing on the ABC dance contest, was voted off after she and professional partner Louis Van Amstel received the lowest combined score from judges and viewers.

That left a trio of hunks: actors Mario Lopez and Joey Lawrence, both of whom obviously have been working out and wear shirts that prove it, and Emmitt Smith, who retired from football in January 2005 but remains in fighting form.

Is anyone complaining about this, er, show of "fitness"?

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Move Over Barney, Kids Like Reality

Finally, after all that whining about sex, violence and explosive car crashes ruining their children’s lives (as parents dump their youngin’s in front of the telly)… A parents' watchdog group says they like Reality Shows!

Of the current crop, ''American Idol,'' ''Dancing with the Stars'' and ''Extreme Makeover: Home Edition'' are the most suitable, said the Parents Television Council.

''When we think of reality shows, we tend to think of offensiveness,'' said L. Brent Bozell, the PTC's president. ''And yet, reality shows have gotten better.''

Really? Who thinks of Reality TV as offensive? These kinds of statements are why groups like this drive us mad!

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Beverly Hills 90210 and Melrose Place

What will we do once all our favorite shows are on DVD? (Certainly they’ll come out with a new format that then makes us buy everything again … like 8-track tapes to cassette tapes to CDs.)

But until then, we’ll put on our Sunny Southern California Happy Face and pick up new sets of ''Beverly Hills 90210'' and ''Melrose Place.''

''Beverly Hills 90210: The Complete First Season'' packs 22 episodes into a six-disc set that includes behind-the-scenes footage and commentary by series creator Darren Star. ''Melrose Place: The Complete First Season'' is an eight-disc set containing 32 episodes and featurettes on each of the residents of trendy Melrose Place.

The DVD collections will be released Tuesday.

Bodies, Babes, Baywatch

November 01, 2006

Pamela Anderson and David Hasselhoff together again, beach side, half-naked. Awesome. At least for those of us willing to admit that "Baywatch" was our guilty pleasure for so many years.

Good news: Now we're getting the DVD!

The former ''Baywatch'' stars were in a Santa Monica hotel, just off the Pacific Ocean, on Monday night for an event trumpeting the release of DVD box sets of the first two seasons of their long-running series.

They were joined by Traci Bingham, Jeremy Jackson and Donna D'Errico, among others.

In the crowd were throngs ogling how much the actors have changed. 15 years is a long time. Body parts sag, wrinkles develop. Those lifeguards should have worn more sunscreen.

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Bob Barker Says Price is NOT Right

The silver-haired daytime-TV icon is retiring in June.

No, we don’t believe it either. Or maybe we’re in denial. Sick days at home will never be the same!

''I will be 83 years old on December 12,'' he said, ''and I've decided to retire while I'm still young.''

He'll hang up his microphone after 35 years as the host of ''The Price Is Right'' and 50 years overall in television.

Though he has been considering retirement for ''at least 10 years,'' Barker said he has so much fun doing the show that he hasn't been able to leave.

''I've gone on and on and on to this ancient age because I've enjoyed it,'' he said. ''I've thoroughly enjoyed it and I'm going to miss it.''

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Cosby Critiques Parents, Teachers, Pets

October 31, 2006

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Mr. Jello Pudding doesn’t care about Fido. Bad joke. He REALLY cares about children, though. And we shouldn’t make light of such a serious issue. But then again it’s Bill Cosby. And he’s being so earnest.

His latest strike came Saturday at a forum called ''Education Is a Civil Right.'' Hundreds of Los Angeles-area parents, teachers and students attended the event at Maranatha Community Church.

Cosby, 69, was critical of black parents, saying they don't involve themselves enough in their children's education and don't know what their children are doing.

''We've got parents who won't check the bedrooms of their children to see if there's a gun,'' he said.

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Naked Pregnant Housewives

Is that something we want to see? US magazine online thinks so. They’re reporting that trash collector – maybe even a professional trash collector, not just some starving homeless person worthy of our sympathy and beneficience – dug up some nekkid pics of the actress in her garbage.

Ewww, hiss!!!

"There are some pictures of her showering outside," David Hans Schmidt, the attorney who is representing the carting firm told the Daily News "She looks absolutely gorgeous. And yes, the carpet does match the curtains."

Oh, so rude!

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GoogleTube Without Jon Stewart

The question of the day is how will the now-Google-owned property survive after it dumps, removes, and sweeps away any and all content that it doesn’t have the copyright for. Including Jon Stewart and anything from Comedy Central.

We don't go to YouTube to watch "Weeds," although we do love Mary Louise Parker.

Now it’s impossible to argue FOR copyright infringement. But we’re admittedly sad to see YouTube’s spontaneity busted. It’s just another example of technological wonder – YouTube – that was passionately embraced, but is now dying after a big company got a hold of it.

First MySpace died after Rupert Murdoch’s NewsCorp bought it. And now Google is forced to take the fun out YouTube.

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TV Watchers Cool to Harry Potter

October 30, 2006

No matter that he's the hottest, most amazing thing to happen to book publishing, and supposedly for kids since the invention of peanut butter and jelly. TV Watchers on Saturday tuned out the "Harry Potter" movie.

Had everyone already seen it?

It seemed Harry fans were insatiable. Remember when the last book came out? Folks kept their kids up -- or was it kids keeping their parents up -- in order to get buy a copy of the weighty tome at midnight?

And Hollywood has had a successful run with the movies dling one out every two years or so.

Which is why it’s all the stranger that the network airing of “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban on ABC Saturday night was a relative dud.

Certainly the folks at ABC would say they are happy with a 3.7 rating from Neilson. But CBS beat ABC all night long. More people wanted to watch “Numb3rs” and “CSI: NY” and “48 Hours Mystery.”

Ryan Seacrest Helps Dick

It’s official. Dick Clark is returning to New Year’s Eve in Times Square for the 1 zillionth time.

Actually, it’s only his 33rd year as host of the annual ball-dropping spectacular. But who’s counting?

Just like last year, Ryan Seacrest, will co-host the ABC telecast. Musical guests. Surprises. Bad commercials. And other awkward moments have yet to be announced.

The fact that most viewers are drunk or asleep will, once again, help the show.