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The Monotonous Video Awards

September 01, 2006

Come on! This is the VMAs! Where are the drunken hijinks? And what's with all the booing?

The highlights:

Justin TImberlake skipped the red carpet. And that made the papparazzi mad. And his opening performance was great.

OK GO and their amazing treadmill performance, done live! They're a YouTube fave.

Hype Williams getting some recognition.

Beyonce coming down from the ceiling.

And the lows:

Christina Aguilera's "Ain't No Other Man" didn't win a thing. Oversight!

Britney and K-Fed did a video taped spoof of themselves. (And were booed for it.)

The Pussycat Dolls won an award (and were also booed).

And the "rock" bands all had Flock of Seagulls hair. What's up with that?

In other news, platinum-selling R&B singer Ne-Yo had a good laugh about recent speculation that he is gay. ''I laughed harder than I've ever laughed in my life,'' when asked by the AP about the rumor. He doesn’t know how the rumor got started, and he doesn't care. For more on that, you can visit our sister site (actually It's more like our "gay-little-brother" site) at OUTzoneTV.com.

Here’s the one thing we loved. Sarah Silverman, onstage, directed an outreach to Paris Hilton: ''lose weight ... I can barely see the bones in your back. It's gross.'' And then, Sarah said to the AP after the show: ''It's fun and it's exciting, but, like, I just wanna get home and watch 'Project Runway.''' Oh, Sarah Silverman. We love you, too!

Trump Fires Carolyn

Donald Trump has fired that nice blond woman.

Carolyn Kepcher, who sat by while her boss Donald Trump dismissed one would-be apprentice after another, has been let go because she was apparently more concerned with promoting herself as a star, than she was in her day job.

Uh-huh. She worked for Donald Trump. She was just following the guys lead.

''Donald and I had different visions for my future role in the company,'' Kepcher said in a statement.'' Donald has been an extraordinary boss and a great mentor over the years, and I will always be grateful.''

Good for her, class act. But what will Donald do now? Well, Donald’s children, Ivanka and Donald, Jr. will be flanking him when the series starts it’s sixth season. Hmmmm....

A spokesman said, ''Mr. Trump wishes her the best.''

NBC Moves Up "30 Rock"

We have been questioning the logic about why NBC picked up two shows about the backstage antics at a sketch comedy show. "30 Rock" is the Tina Fey comedy, and "Studio 60 at Sunset Strip" is the Aaron Sorkin drama.

But from what we hear around the water cooler, everyone is genuinely excited about both of them. (And we're not just saying that because our Big Daddy is NBC.)

So now "30 Rock" has been moved up a spot, and will be kick off the network’s Wednesday night line-up -- followed by the John Lithgow-Jeffrey Tambor vehicle "Twenty Good Years,” about two guys who have 20 good years left in their lives and decide to spend them together.

We think it might also be possible that a warmed-over Odd Couple meets Grumpy Old Men sitcom might need a good strong lead-in. But that's just our speculation, we've heard nothing at all about "20 Years."

“Studio 60 at Sunset Strip” will run Monday nights at 10pm. In the interest of full disclosure, NBC/Universal owns our TV-loving behinds.

Accidental Potty-Mouths vs. the FCC

August 31, 2006

Fox, CBS, ABC, and NBC have taken on the FCC.

It's complicated, but we'll break It down for you. The FCC wants to fine Fox for profanity used by Cher and Nicole Richie during the 2002 ''Billboard Music Awards.'' It wants to fine CBS for inadvertant profanity on an episode of "The Early Show." It also wants to fine ABC for some bad words on "NYPD Blue." As for NBC, (or as we call them, "Dad') -- they weren't fined. They just stand with their broadcasting brethren.

Here's the problem with these fines: The FCC already cleared these instances earlier in the year.

So, why now? The FCC says it's because they rushed to judgment and skipped the step where they ask the broadcasters for a response. So they've asked an appeals court to re-open these cases.

Come on, FCC! It was 2002! It was a simpler, happier time! Before Janet Jackson showed her boob! Can't we just move on? The major networks seem to think so, and charge that the new decency rulings handed down by the FCC violate the constitution and prevent them from showing any live programming at all.

A lawyer from Fox put It this way: ''The prospect of such massive fines obviously forces Fox to steer far clear of even constitutionally protected speech,'' he wrote, citing the possibility of a sports manager or coach swearing during a live game.

Sure. Coaches swear all the time! It happens. Even to ... dare we say, Presidents sometimes. Remember that?

The Federal Communications Commission: Washing everybody's mouths out with soap for a cleaner America.

Football is Pink!

Remember when that guy would sing, "Are you ready for some football?!" before the big game? And then the trumpets and guitars and things would rock your socks off before the teams took to the field. Yeah, well that was Monday Night Football. This Is Sunday night. Things have gotten, well … pink.

Grammy Award winner Pink has recorded the theme to NBC's "Sunday Night Football."

Said a spokesman: ''We chose Pink as the signature voice because she is a tremendous talent with a crossover appeal that makes her relevant to all segments of our audience.''

Pink has created ''Waiting All Day for Sunday Night" -- set to Joan Jett's ''I Hate Myself for Loving You,'' with new lyrics, NBC said Wednesday.

''A football fan knows the anticipation of waiting all day for the big game. When you hear this song on Sunday nights, you'll know the big game is about to kick off.''

Yeah. Actually, just writing about It made us want some Cheez-It’s and Pepsi. Rock on, Pink!

Wedding Crasher

August 30, 2006

So, you’ve got a lot of money, a production company that loves it when you televise obnoxious frat-boy behavior, and you’re married to Demi Moore? What next?

Crash weddings for fun and profit.

Ashton Kutcher along with NBC and New Line TV have put together a candid-camera knock-off called "The Real Wedding Crashers." The show will send a group of actors to disrupt weddings with irritating and uncouth behavior.

Good. Because everyone wedding needs more of that.

A spokesman at NBC (yes, they’re our parent company) had this to say -- "Working with Ashton and knowing his memorable experiences with the jokes he pulled off on 'Punk'd' made it that much more enticing. This series has a big upside potential for hidden-camera humor."

While the focus of "The Real Wedding Crashers" will be on good-natured pranks, the show will also take a yank on the heartstrings by, in NBC's words, "occasionally bring[ing] families together in emotional moments."

Although the network hasn't said when the show might make it onto the air, we’ll be sure to keep an eye on this one. And … elope.

Allison Janney's Hairspray

She's the Queen of the Emmys (she's won four), she's gorgeous as all sin, and she's pretty much our favorite actress. And now, she's making the jump to a movie we're pretty darn excited about.

Janney will be joining the film version of “Hairspray,” where she will be playing the role of Prudy Pingleton, the uptight, alliterative mother who makes her daughter Penny wear a P on her sweater, so that everyone will know that she’s “permanently punished.”

The film is not due out until Christmas of 2007, and until then, we're just going to have to settle for re-watching her brilliant performances in "Drop Dead Gorgeous" and all those seasons of "The West Wing."

Robin Hood Kidnapped

Thieves in Hungary have stolen tapes of the BBC's (not BBCancelled) new prime-time series ''Robin Hood,'' stalling completion of some of the 13 episodes.

A report in The Daily Mirror on Monday that the tapes were the only copies and that thieves were demanding payment of $1.9 million for their return.

$1.9 million? Why not an even 2 million? There is bargaining pricing for ransoming a TV show?

'''Tiger Aspect (the production company) has been the victim of a break-in where 'Robin Hood' is currently being filmed and some high-definition tapes and other equipment have been stolen,'' the BBC said Monday in a statement. ''The thefts are causing inconvenience and have resulted in a delay in finalizing some of the episodes. Tiger Aspect is taking all reasonable steps to recover the tapes.''

It’s almost too obvious a joke to make: Did they give the tapes to the poor?

Fingers Crossed for Nielsen

August 29, 2006

In 1982, Leslie Nielsen had his own show. It was "Police Squad!" and it was hilarious in the very lowest kind of way. It spawned the Naked Gun movies, all thanks to Nielsen’s own particular brand of earnest “speaking-with-authority-on-any-topic” deadpan -- made famous by his role in Airplane!

We are desperately hoping that his role on an upcoming NBC comedy pilot, called "Lipshitz Saves the World," puts him squarely back on network television where he belongs.

We’re huge fans. And apparantly, so are the folks over at "Lipshitz."

In a recent Hollywood Reporter article, Dan Fogelman, the show’s creator, said: "I'm a lifelong fan and wrote the part specifically for him, never having met him, and with no knowledge of whether or not he'd take to it .… He could not have been more gracious and responsive once he read the script."

Nielsen is scripted to play an older screw-up who helps mentor “Lipshitz,” a teenager who discovers he must save the earth from certain destruction.

There’s nothing better than the smell of the Fall TV season. We can't wait!

K. Fed to Act

Boy, what can’t that Kevin Federline do?

Nevermind.

CBS says that K-Fed will play a menacing, arrogant teenager who either helps or hinders the case of a Las Vegas tourist beating death on a fall episode of “CSI.” He began filming this week in Los Angeles.

In an interview with People magazine, the esteemed Mr. Spears said that he was excited for the role because "It's the first time I've actually had a speaking role."

We’re going to go ahead and guess that this includes the short-lived “Chaotic” -- a reality program he and his wife, Britney Spears, produced about their wild and crazy love life.

Barry Manilow: Still Hip!

Just hours after winning an Emmy award for his musical special, "Music and Passion" (we find that it’s funnier if you whisper the word “passion” -- try it!), Barry Manilow checked into a Palm Springs hospital for hip surgery.

According to Manilow’s publicist, he came through the operation ''swimmingly'' and then headed back to his Palm Springs home.

In his Emmy acceptance speech, Manilow excitedly told TV viewers that he was going to bring his statuette into the operating room. And he made good on that promise.

Can you imagine being the surgeon? “Sir, could you put your Emmy down? We’re going to repair your hips now.”

Manilow's recovery and rehabilitation is expected to take six to eight weeks. Then the celebrated showman plans to jump back into his performance routine. He will travel the East and the Midwest this fall, leading up to the early November release of his new album, ''The Greatest Songs of the Sixties.''

We wish him a nice long recovery.

The Emmys: Bring a Book

August 28, 2006

They all know they have no time for speeches, every other joke is about how long the show is going to take, and it seems as though everybody just wants to start drinking. Nevertheless, the Emmys happen every year. It’s not the most exciting show in the world -- but for those of us who love cancelled TV and redemption stories, it was a pretty good night.

First, a quick shout out to Blythe Danner, who won a Best Supporting Actress in a Drama Emmy for her role on the now cancelled “Huff.” We are desperately sorry to see the end of her work as a boozy and coarse, though delicate and soft, grandmother. Blythe Danner is one of the few actresses working today that is so good, you can smell her perfume when she comes on screen. (And why cut off this elegant woman's speech, Mr. Show Producer? In order to fit in that lame Telemundo joke later?)

We first reported Huff’s cancellation one month ago, but many didn’t know of the show’s cancellation until Danner’s Emmy speech last night: “I guess I'm supposed to thank Showtime even though they've canceled us,'' she said, "They're nice guys. They couldn't help it, I guess.''

The news seems to have driven a lot of people to leave some pretty voracious comments at the site of the original story. You can check it out here.

In other cancelled TVnews, shows like “Arrested Development,” and “The Comeback” were nominated for awards including Best Actress in a Comedy and Best Writing for Comedy.

Julia Louis-Dreyfuss won for her role on “The New Adventures of Old Christine.” Her acceptance? ''Well, I'm not somebody who really believes in curses -- but curse this, baby,'' Louis-Dreyfuss said, hoisting her trophy and making a veiled reference to the so-called ''Seinfeld curse'' that kept its stars from launching successful new series post-Seinfeld.

Our very favorite part came in the acceptance speech by "My Name is Earl" creator Greg Garcia, who won the Emmy for Best Writing for a Comedy Series. He decided to not thank his junior high social studies teacher for making him sit down, a former boss who made him scrape gum from the shoes of an execuitve, and God, who made him lose his hair.

Awe. Some.

The Daily Show-hio

On the heels of their wild Emmy victory, Comedy Central's ''The DailyShow With Jon Stewart'' will travel to Ohio this fall on a pre-election road trip. They will be doing so in order to find out just what is up with all the open hostility towards the liberals? And the flat vowels- what’s with that?

''Battlefield Ohio: The DailyShow's Midwest Midterm Midtacular'' will air nightly from Oct. 30 through Nov. 2, a week before the Nov. 7 national election.

Here’s the part we’re excited about: ''DailyShow'' correspondents Dan Bakkedahl, Samantha Bee, Jason Jones and John Oliver will be reporting from various locations in and around Ohio. Comedy Central said in a statement that the commentary in Ohio will ''give viewers a unique perspective that only a true outsider can provide.''

From those of us at BBCancelled who have left our home Buckeye state, we wish you luck.

Oprah in South Africa

Okay. She’s easy to make fun of, and she’s sometimes easy to watch. She’s also, apparently, pretty easy to use as a scam.

So here’s what happened: A few years back, Oprah made a promise to Nelson Mandela – she would build a school for the next generation of African leaders – African girls. So she was in South Africa this week, where she surprised all of the 73 applicants with free admission to the school. More will be admitted in the coming year. We actually caught this on CNN over the weekend, and we were surprisingly moved by it.

Then this story: some 500 people crowded into a community center in the eastern city of Grahamstown after being told that they had to make a simple payment of $1.40 with the promise of then receiving $168 per month for 10 years.

Which totally sounds like something Oprah would do. But sadly, she hadn’t heard anything about it. Police confiscated 160 applications and returned nearly $280, he said.

Oprah has yet to comment on the whole affair, but even though our little jaded hearts sometimes have a problem with the way seemingly everyone seems to be encouraging the Oprah-fication of American values: we will totally give her props for donating over $40 million dollars to educate African children.