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Deadwood Gets a Star

June 09, 2006

A star fell from the sky and implanted itself on the Hollywood Walk of Fame yesterday. The latest recipient of the concrete honor is “Deadwood” creator David Milch.

The series began its third season Sunday with lots of dust, cussing, and mood music. Still no word about the show's future, but some insiders are saying this season will be the last.

On hand to witness the unveiling — an awkward event that real cowboys would never participate in — was Steven Bochco, who worked with Milch on “Hill Street Blues.”

Next up for Milch is a new show for HBO about surfers tentatively titled “John From Cincinatti.” No word on whether actors will need to be able to surf and swear simultaneously.

Hot Stars Hawk Threads

June 08, 2006

Dr. McDreamy — AKA Patrick Dempsey — is teaming up with his “Grey’s Anatomy” co-star Ellen Pompeo to sell womenswear.

No, Dempsey is not promoting ladies tailored slacks for handsome men like himself. He’s just the eye candy in an ad campaign for New York & Company clothiers. Pompeo had to do all the heavy lifting/modeling.

“Our customer is very invested in TV, in what’s going on and who’s hot,” explains a spokesperson.

In the ads, the couple's chemistry is obvious. No word whether the lovebirds will be singing the same tune when the new season returns in September.

Cybil Moonlights on “The L Word”

Fans of the Showtime's hottest hour will get see Cybill Shephard struggle to come out of the closet in January. The actress with the blondest hair in Hollywood is joining the hot-lesbians-in-L.A. series.

The 56-year-old beauty—who can also sing like a siren, by the way—is slated to appear all season long as a married woman with kids who begins to question her sexuality.

We’ve been questioning her sexuality for decades! Remember how hard it was for her to get “intimate” with Bruce Willis?

Piven Sings Kumbaya in Lotus Position

Days before the new season of “Entourage” begins, Jeremy Piven is taking pains to separate himself from his character — by singing.

If only. Instead, Ari says he does yoga so he can operate from a “more centered place.”

“I think you would be viciously bored by me if you met me,” says Piven. “If I told you the way I am, it would be very kumbaya.”

Uhm…okay. If this is true, then Mr. P. is a better actor than we thought.

Denise vs. Charlie, Take 16

Denise Richards and “Two and A Half Men” star Charlie Sheen agreed to extend a temporary restraining order against Sheen. The order requires him to stay 300 yards away from Richards.

The couple is in the middle of a brutal divorce, which is playing out spectacularly in the tabloids. Currently, Richards accuses Sheen of pushing, shoving and threatening her and her parents. Sheen denies the allegations.

Efforts to divorce began in March of 2005 after three years of marriage. BBCancelled Newswire has a few words for both of them: End it already!

Return of Pee-Wee

June 07, 2006

After 15 years, “Pee-Wee’s Playhouse” is coming back to television...but this time, late-night television.

The Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim will soon air all 45 original episodes starting July 10. Crazy-genius Paul Reubens — he of the overblown indecent exposure charge, remember? — will be in living rooms across America every night of the week.

“I’d say this is a dream come true,” Reubens said about his return to the wee screen.

Congressional Brain Malfunction

If a senator returns to the floor of the senate with his fly open — and the scene is shown on local news — the channel will be fined more than $300,000. That’s the new price of a "wardrobe malfunction," after the House votes today to increase fines for indecency tenfold.

“By raising fines to $325,000, I am confident that broadcasters will think twice about pushing the envelope, and our kids will be better for it,” said Representative Red Upton, Republican from Michigan.

Bush, ever-ready to protect children from flying nipples, is ready to sign the law.

Surprisingly, no one seems to care that this new penalty will only apply to the broadcast networks. The world will still be safe for unlimited wardrobe malfunctions on cable, satellite channels and the Internet.

A Tru-ly Personal Souvenir

Eliza Dushku, Tru in the Fox whodunit “Tru Calling,” went all the way to Albania and got more than a lousy T-shirt. The television hottie is bringing home a tattoo on her back of the eagle on Albania’s national flag.

The 25-year-old actress -- and former "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" vixen -- visited her ancestral land after “Tru Calling” was cancelled this spring, and she fell in love with the region. “I’m flattered and taken aback by my reception here. It makes me want to be an even louder and prouder Albanian,” Dushku said after receiving the royal treatment from Kosovo’s prime minister.

Next up: Dushku is starring in the indie flick On Broadway, and co-starring with Danny Devito in a film called Nobel Son. No word on whether she’ll be showing her new tattoo on screen.

Montel Pushes Marijuana in New Jersey

Television personality Montel Williams plans to tell Garden State lawmakers tomorrow how marijuana relieves the chronic pain he feels due to multiple sclerosis.

New Jersey lawmakers are considering becoming the 12th state to legalize marijuana if prescribed by a doctor.

Williams, 49, was diagnosed with MS seven years ago and turned to marijuana to relieve debilitating knee and foot pain after trying Oxycontin and a variety of other drugs.

Unfortunately there is opposition from county-level law enforcement officials who see the compassionate legislation as a “veiled attempt to legalize drugs.” But governor John Corzine promises to sign the law when it passes.

Pumping Gallons of Television

June 06, 2006

A Michigan start-up called Gas Station TV wants to keep you up-to-date while filling your tank. Coming soon, drivers can catch news, weather, and traffic while pumping gas. (We faked a photo illustration, left.)

100 stations in Dallas, Houston and Atlanta will try the program, which features TV spots from ABC affiliates. The network's owner, Disney, is selling the advertisements to pay for the experiment.

“Pumping gas is boring and mundane," said the company's chief. (Really? What a genius you must be to have realized that.) “We are convinced that people will be very favorable to the experience.”

What about lowering the prices? Now that would be something we'd definitely watch.

Oprah Crashes Weddings

No, the queen of talk did not drive her limo into any overblown parties. Instead, she visited two pair of newlyweds in Tulsa, Oklahoma for an upcoming episode to air in September. It was all a big surprise, although when you're Ms. Winfrey, your well-known visage is hard to hide.

“She came in wearing a pink dress and was all hidden under her hat,” said one bride. “But I knew it was her.”

Oprah did arrive bearing gifts. Both couples received new dishes. No word on how many place settings, but we hope it was 12.

Giant Penguins Stalk Small Screen

Forget Rudolf and Frosty. It's all about the penguins this Christmas. The surprise box-office hit and Academy Award Winner — the documentary March of The Penguins — is coming to the Hallmark Channel this holiday season.

After stuffing oneself with stuffing, the family can settle in for a visit with a frozen brood of Emperor penguins. The 3-feet tall tuxedo clad birds do notlive a charmed life. The movie shows them walking hundreds of miles to lay a single egg that may — may! — survive. Starvation and infighting are also common. The men do raise the chicks, though.

It’s all very sweet and scary...just like Christmas with your mother-in-law.

Too Weird for TV

June 05, 2006

Former MTV-host Tom Green will soon be back behind his desk, hosting a talk show. Except this time, the desk will be in front of his fireplace in his home.

Beginning June 15, Green will have a live, weekly call-in show at ManiaTV.com. And Green will actually be sitting behind his old desk from "The Tom Green Show."

Before he hosted talk shows for MTV, he was a quirky guy on public access TV. Now he's a quirky guy online. Says Green, "I've always enjoyed doing goofy experimental stuff that sometimes was too weird to put on a TV show."

Episodes will also be broadcast and archived at tomgreen.com.

Hanger But No Cliff?

And so the wait begins....
Last night marked the season finale of The Sopranos. Which means: no new episodes until March 2007.

What we are left with is an amazing series of often quiet events that began with the trauma of Tony Soprano's being shot, and ended with him hoping to smooth things over with a persnickety NY team -- by visiting Phil Leotardo in the hospital and trying to talk sense into him.

In other news: Christopher is back on drugs, Anthony Jr. is growing up, Meadow is still engaged to Finn and they moved out west. Vito got whacked for being gay, and Johnny Sack confessed. Oh, and Adriana is still dead -- while Carmela is still worrying about her. That about does it.