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Fat Naked Guy to Wear Stripes

May 16, 2006

Poor Richard Hatch. The man single-handedly created reality show villains. Omarosa on "The Apprentice" was nothing compared to Ol’ Rich. He is the one man—after producer Mark Burnett—responsible for "Survivor" surviving so long.

And what does he get for being a conniving genius? Prison. The judge in his tax-evasion case could have sentenced him to 33 months, but says he didn’t believe Mr. Hatch on the witness stand. (Who does!? But that’s why he’s so awesome.)

Bottom line: the gay, fat, nudist conniver is heading to the big house for 51 months! That’s more than 4 years. We’ll have a new president before we see Mr. Hatch nekkid again. Damn.


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